How to Argue with Awareness

Make it a priority to identify whatever emotion you’re experiencing, whether in the moment or during a conflict. Avoid dismissing conversations with “I don’t know” or “I’m not sure”—not only is this unfair to your relationship, but it’s also a disservice to yourself. If your partner doesn’t understand what you’re feeling, they won’t be able to empathize with you.

If you struggle to articulate your emotions, try using metaphors to express them more clearly. And if you genuinely can’t pinpoint what you’re feeling, take time alone to reflect. Revisit the event in your mind—where do you feel it in your body? Does it trigger any of your senses? Does it have a color, a weight, or a specific location within you or around you? What does it remind you of? Finding a resemblance can help you put words to your emotions, allowing you to communicate them more effectively.